


A Whisper In My Ear

by Ellstra



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Aftercare, BDSM, Consensual Non-Consent, M/M, Rape Fantasy, undernegotiated kinks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-10
Updated: 2019-01-10
Packaged: 2019-10-07 22:43:12
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17374610
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ellstra/pseuds/Ellstra
Summary: A minute reaction of Hux’s inspires Ren to suggest adding some spice into their sex life. Hux isn’t entirely certain what to expect but he’s definitely on board.





	A Whisper In My Ear

**Author's Note:**

> Here we go! My third kylux anniversary! This fic was originally going to be something else but I got distracted. Hux doesn’t really know what Kylo is suggesting but he does enjoy it.  
> The name of the fic is a lyric from Queen's You Take My Breath Away, because that's what I was gonna call the fic but I already have fic with a similar name.  
> Also this fic is _extremely_ self-indulgent. It's a fantasy I've been playing with for a while and decided to write it down and share it with you, do what you will with this information :D

Hux was used to unsolicited attention. People were always staring at him – his hair colour was odd, he was a notorious overachiever and his reputation preceded him. He’d learned to ignore it and he tended to be rather unphased by it by now. People who stared at him were usually pathetic and pitiful, and he didn’t have time for those. He wasn’t, however, used to attention that was desired but came at unfortunate moments. For example during his briefing with the High Command of the First Order. 

It was a holo conference – the high-ranking officers were too busy to waste time travelling from their respective ships and stations just to listen to a short presentation, to say nothing about the logistics and security of it. Hux preferred talking to people in person, fully aware of his charisma that didn’t really transmit through the constraints of time and space along with his words and image, but he was confident that it wouldn’t impair his performance, if he were in the room alone. But he wasn’t.

Ren insisted on joining him in the briefing room and Hux could not for the life of him figure out why, seeing as they devised the plans together. And he tried very hard, wasting more time on thinking about Ren than any single person was worth, much less someone like Ren. Hux despised Ren and yet he could not stop thinking about him. He had hoped his obsession would ebb away if he gave in to his animal desires and slept with Ren, but that plan backfired quite spectacularly, and now here he was, giving an important presentation on the Order’s strategy for the next three months with his mind dedicating only a minimal amount of attention to it. The rest of it was trying very hard – and failing – to ignore Ren staring at him with his signature unsettling intensity. 

Ren had put his legs up on the table, crossing them at the ankles. He was leaning back in his chair, and Hux wasn’t sure if he wanted it to topple over or not, knowing that it was pointless. The soles of Ren’s boots were dirty with mud of the last planet he visited, a little worn down at the heels. Hux had noticed that Ren walked a little unevenly, his left boot damaged a bit more than the right, and he wasn’t sure what to do with the information. He didn’t want to know more about Ren than was strictly necessary, and this hardly seemed to fit into the category, just like other drivel such as Ren’s preference for cold weather over hot, or his dislike of insects. 

One of the Admirals asked a question and Hux used the bit of time it lent him to close his eyes, trying to force Ren out of his head. He took a deep breath to form the answer in his head before responding, and then looked directly at the holograph of said Admiral and replied. It was of no use of course – the conference table designed for this purpose was long and narrow, and Ren had taken the seat at the opposite end of it which didn’t allow Hux to look away unless he wanted to be downright rude. He couldn’t escape, and Ren knew it. 

The discussion grew longer and longer as all the officers wanted to offer some of their own wisdom, and Hux’s patience was running thin. It was petty bickering over matters of negligible importance, which wasted his time and left him at the mercy of Ren’s gaze. Ren didn’t even have the decency to look away and pretend he had been doing something else when Hux glared at him – instead, he spread his legs a little more and parted his lips, as if he had been trying to catch Hux’s attention the whole time and finally succeeded. Hux felt a blush creep into his cheeks, grateful that the visual side of the holo projection was of low quality and hid his indisposition from the eyes of the officers. 

There was nothing to hide it from Ren.

Finally the flow of inane questions thinned into a trickle and then died out. Hux dismissed the meeting before anyone could change their mind, and collapsed into his chair, his proper posture momentarily forgotten. He sighed and rolled his head from one shoulder to the other to relieve the tension in the back of his neck. He remained like that, with his chin resting in the dip above his sternum, for a while, his eyes closed. 

“You seem on edge, General.”

Hux started when something touched his neck. He relaxed when he realised it was Ren, who had somehow made his way to him without making a sound. It was eerie how quiet Ren could be, if he wanted to. 

“Oh really?” Hux scoffed. Ren was massaging Hux’s neck now, the cool leather of his gloves odd but soothing. “And whose fault is that?”

“Based on your tone, mine,” Ren said, “though I do not understand what my crime is today.”

“Of course you don’t,” Hux muttered, more to himself.

Ren moved his hand to the front of Hux’s neck, forcing him to look up with light pressure on his Adam’s apple, and Hux’s breath hitched, his heart running faster. But then Ren’s fingers found the zipper of his uniform and yanked it down the middle of his chest, clumsy in the glove. 

“Did you think I was going to strangle you?” Ren murmured, and it shouldn’t have excited Hux as much as it did. He pushed the uniform lower from Hux’s shoulders and laid his hands at the base of Hux’s neck, kneading his trapezius muscles with tenderness Hux would have never expected from him. 

“Maybe,” Hux admitted. He was close to purring happily under Ren’s touch, almost seeing stars when Ren hit a particularly sore spot. 

“Would that be pleasurable to you?” Ren asked. Hux was about to snort – what kind of lunatic would find it pleasurable to be strangled? – but something stopped him. Ren didn’t seem to be mocking him with the question, he seemed genuinely curious. Hux recalled that one occasion on which Ren did close his airways, though he didn’t dirty his hands with it back then. There was nothing pleasurable about that, and he had been sore for days after that. 

“Why would you ask me something like that?” Hux muttered at last, deciding that the best defense is a good offense. 

“You seemed excited when I did this,” Ren replied, moving his hand back to cover the front of Hux’s neck. Hux wondered if Ren could feel his pulse through the glove, because he could hear it throb in his ears so loudly it was deafening. 

“Are you sure you’re not mistaking excitement for fear, Supreme Leader?” Hux asked, proud of himself for such a coherent sentence. 

“I’m not sure, which is why I asked,” Ren replied, “but I’m quite convinced that I’m not.” 

And then he had the audacity to bend forward a little, laying his palm flat over Hux’s lap. Hux realised only now, with the added pressure, that his cock had filled with blood. He wasn’t hard yet, but it was a start. Ren stroked him a few times, like he would an animal, and then went back to massaging Hux’s neck like this whole exchange had not happened.

“Isn’t fear a very potent stimulant for arousal?” Hux asked.

“Does it matter?” 

Hux had thought it did, which was why he asked the question, but Ren made him reconsider. Fear was certainly not a good basis of a relationship, but was what he and Ren had really a relationship? It was, in the strictest sense of the word of course, but there was hardly the sort of connection or trust required for a romantic one. Hux had never been in a relationship, and this thing with Ren was slowly crawling towards being his longest sexual liaison ever, but he was rather sentimental about his idea of love. Not that he expected to experience it – or believed that it existed – but it was a nice thing to daydream about. The thing between him and Ren was obsession mixed with carnal desire, unhealthy but addictive, like the greasy, salt-riddled food he treated himself with only on special occasions. And maybe fear was an important condiment. 

“I suppose not,” he said at last. Ren hummed and stopped massaging Hux’s neck. He sat down at the corner of the table with just one half of his ass, his leg dangling in the air. Hux didn’t like being looked down at like this so he stood up. Ren chuckled.

“Relax. I just wanted to look at you while we discuss this new development,” Ren said. Hux didn’t want to sit back down and make an even bigger fool of himself so he leaned back against the handrest of the chair.

“What is there to discuss?” he asked, crossing his arms on his chest. 

“You being turned on by me strangling you,” Ren said, like it was a very common conversation topic. 

“You’re the last person in the entire galaxy that I’d want to discuss my messed up psyché with, Ren.”

“What?”

“If I wanted a therapist, I’d choose someone who actually studied psychology. And who didn’t cause at least twenty percent of my issues.”

“You’re adorable, how did I deserve you,” Ren said, raising one corner of his mouth, “I don’t want to question you about your messed up life. I was going to ask you if you wanted to try it. Being choked. During sex.”   
Hux was mad at himself for feeling disappointed about Ren not wanting to hear about his life, but he didn’t have time to dwell on it for too long, the second part of Ren’s statement derailing his train of thought. 

“Oh,” he mumbled.

“We’d agree on a way for you to tell me that it’s too much for you and I’d stop,” Ren went on.

“How do I know that you would?” 

“You have my word,” Ren said, his expression solemn, like there was something of a weight to his word. Hux laughed, heartily. 

“You act like you have some sort of honour,” he said. 

“Have I ever lied to you?” Ren asked, his eyes narrowing, as if Hux insulted him. 

“I don’t know,” Hux shrugged, “but you did try to kill me.” 

“I really don’t think you should be starting a discussion about which one of us tried to kill the other.”

“Touché,” Hux nodded, “but I’m not trying to convince you to have sex with me while I point a blaster at you.”

“You know you can just say no and I won’t bring it up again, right?” Ren asked. Hux  _ had  _ forgotten that was the original question. He tended to forget himself around Ren. 

“But where would be the fun in that?” he replied and he didn’t close his mouth all the way, letting his tongue peek from between his teeth. 

“If you don’t talk back to me one day, I’ll have someone exorcise the demon possessing you,” Ren shook his head.   
“Oh, how romantic of you.”

They fell silent after that, Ren watching Hux with anticipation. 

“I don’t think I’d enjoy being choked,” Hux said at last, “that’s a bit too specific. The thrill is that I don’t know what you’re going to do to me. Are you just here to have your way with me or will you kill me?”

“Well, that’s, um–”

“–messed up,” Hux interrupted Ren. He knew it, he didn’t have to hear it. 

“I’m not going to kill you while we have sex,” Ren said instead, “it would ruin the mood, wouldn’t it?”   
Hux laughed, despite himself. Ren had the odd quality of being able to make him laugh with the most absurd things, in the most absurd situations. Hux loved it, secretly.

“I suppose,” he nodded.

“But I can act like it, if you want me to,” Ren continued, serious again. He seemed hellbent on pleasing Hux, like it mattered what Hux thought. It was quite touching, but it unsettled Hux all the same. He wasn’t used to someone caring about what he wanted, much less making it a priority. A part of him was afraid that this was an elaborate prank Ren was pulling on him. The part currently in charge was intrigued by Ren’s offer.

“Act like you’re going to kill me?” he asked, unable to get the words  _ rape fantasy  _ over his lips.

“Act like I’m doing this against your will,” Ren avoided the words too, and Hux was glad for it. He was ashamed of even considering the offer – who in their right mind got turned on by the prospect of someone… doing that. He should probably seek a therapist after all. 

“Not in the bed though,” Hux said, his voice firmer than he felt, “and you won’t be yourself. I don’t care if I’m a stranger to your character or not, but if you try to touch me against my will as Kylo Ren, we’re done.” 

“As you wish,” Ren nodded. Hux hated his instant obedience. 

“I’ll struggle,” he warned Ren, “are you prepared for that?” 

“I can handle a few scratches.”

“I don’t want you to use the Force, under any circumstances,” Hux said and stood up again. He turned his back to Ren. “Do you have the time now?”

“Yes,” Ren said. His voice was very low, the one syllable reverberating through Hux’s body rather than audible; Hux wondered just how much this scenario excited Ren too.

“Good. How about you go get some lubricant and meet me back here?” he said. 

“Will you please stop calling it lubricant, I was really getting into a mood here,” Ren complained.

“You are such a child,” Hux shook his head, turning back to Ren, “whatever you wish to call it, go get some, and be quick about it.”

“We should agree on a safeword,” Ren said, “for if it’s too much for you.”

“It won’t be,” Hux assured him.

“Then you won’t use it. It’s a precaution, and a rule,” Ren insisted, “you love those.”

Hux was touched by Ren’s concern, and even the quip. It made him angry – Ren was bringing up too many of these emotions in him lately, emotions that he hardly remembered feeling, emotions that were dangerously intoxicating. If he weren’t careful, he might get addicted, and that was the last thing he needed. Addiction was a most undesirable thing. 

“Very well,” he said, looking around, searching for a word he could use. “Relentless.”

“Seriously?” 

“It’s the name of the first ship I served on, and I did not have a good time there,” Hux explained. Ren didn’t poke at it any further.

“Whatever it is, I expect you to use it if you feel overwhelmed. It’s not a competition,” he said instead.

“Don’t worry about me,” Hux said,  _ no one ever did.  _

“And something non-verbal. If it comes to something where you can’t talk, I need to know you’re okay,” Ren went on.

“You’re really cautious, that’s unlike you,” Hux pointed out, “I might think you care about me.”

“I don’t want to accidentally kill you during sex, it’s the bare minimum,” Ren said, “how about a double tap? If something is too much and you can’t talk, tap your hand twice on something, either on me or on something that will make noise.”

“Like this?” Hux walked to the table and hit it twice with the palm of his hand. 

“Yes. And please, do use it if you need. I don’t want to hurt you,” Ren said, almost pleading, the  _ again  _ unspoken but heavy in the air.

“Very well.”

It seemed that Ren was finally satisfied with the answers he got. Hux watched him stand up and leave, feeling his heartbeat speed up. Once Ren was gone, he looked around, trying to decide in which position he should wait for Ren. He assumed Ren would arrive already in his role as an unknown attacker, so in the end he decided to sit down with his datapad. He had not gone through his correspondence yet, usually reserving an hour before bedtime for it, so he opted to open it and start reading. He could not focus on the meaning though, his mind chewing each word for a while before spitting it out again. 

The door opened very soon and he looked up to see the intruder. Ren had changed into a uniform – a corporal one, Hux noticed. He even had the little cap perched haphazardly on his head. 

“General, I thought I might find you here,” the Corporal said and locked the door, hiding the keypad from Hux. 

“What do you want, Corporal?” Hux asked, standing up. 

“A private audience with you,” the Corporal replied and walked closer.

“I have office hours for that,” Hux said, “you can request an audience through the system if you so desire.”

“Oh I do desire,” the Corporal said. He was now standing very close to Hux, fingers of one hand brushing the tabletop. “And I desire now.”

“I don’t have time for you now,” Hux said, grabbed his datapad and made for the door. The Corporal grabbed his free wrist and stopped him. Hux tried to escape his grip but he was too strong, his fingers long more than enough to envelop Hux’s wrist. 

“You’ll make it,” the Corporal said, yanking Hux’s forearm. Hux lost his balance and had to take a couple of frantic steps towards him to regain it. The Corporal wrapped a strong arm around his waist, pulling him closer. “Good boy.”

“Let me go,” Hux spat.

“I don’t want to,” the Corporal shook his head. Hux tried to knee him in the balls but he had too little space to work in so he just hit himself in the kneecap.

“I’ll have you thrown out of an airlock for this,” Hux warned him but even he could hear the insecurity in his voice. 

“I don’t think so,” the Corporal said, “I’d say you’ll thank me once I’m done with you. You’ll like this, you little slut.”

He dropped his hand a little lower, touching Hux’s ass. Hux froze, his mind going completely blank. His heart was pounding in his chest, telling him to run, but he couldn’t move a single muscle in his body. 

“You don’t have to pretend, it’s just the two of us now. No need to hide your true nature anymore,” the Corporal whispered, his breath hot on Hux’s ear. Hux shuddered and tried again to escape. His thrashing seemed only to excite his attacker further though – he turned them around, Hux’s ass hit the table behind him and he lost his footing again. The Corporal yanked his datapad out of his hand and threw it away; Hux could hear it shatter as it hit the floor. Hux tried to hit him now that his hand was free but his position was awkward and the Corporal was fast enough to avoid his fist. He grabbed Hux’s wrist, holding both of them now and he twisted them to make Hux raise his arms above his head. He was almost lying on top of Hux, grinding his hips against Hux’s. 

“Look at you, so beautiful for me, so ripe, just ready to be harvested,” the Corporal purred and bent down to press his lips against Hux’s neck. He didn’t kiss the skin, opting instead to nibble and suck at it. Hux’s eyes closed against his will and he moaned, betrayed by his own body. The Corporal sucked his way down the length of Hux’s neck, whispering obscenities against the skin he marked. Hux lay still, trying to relax as much as he could, waiting for the right opportunity to attempt a flight. The Corporal seemed pleased with the development, obviously thinking that Hux had given in.

“I’ll fuck you so good, I promise. You’ll come back willingly, just you wait. I bet you have a really pretty ass, white and freckly and plump, hmm?” he kept chattering. Hux opened his eyes and found the Corporal watching him, hungry expression in his eyes.

“Oh yeah,” Hux said, “so pretty and round. And not for you!”

He kicked out, blindly, hoping to hit the Corporal in the shin. He hit something but the angle was awkward and he didn’t have enough strength. The Corporal smiled, exposing his teeth, as if Hux’s struggle was funny to him.

“It’s not very nice to kick people, is it, General? And I was being so nice to you,” he said, “I was even going to let you choose the position.”

He released Hux’s right arm and reached into his pocket. Hux wasted no time and did what his instincts screamed at him to do – he balled his fist and punched forward, giving it all the desperate energy he had. He had more luck this time; he hit the Corporal’s cheek, tearing the skin open. The Corporal hissed and grabbed his forearm again, though this time his grip was firmer, and cold. He pressed Hux’s arm onto the table again and secured a handcuff around his other wrist too. Hux tried to resist the pull between the two pieces but it was pointless – the pair was made of very durable material and the lock very intricate to forbid any unwanted opening. The Corporal had tightened it very snug around his wrists – if he escaped this situation alive, it would leave marks. 

“You’ve got some fire in you, I’ll give you that,” the Corporal muttered. Blood trickled in a thin stripe down his face, a droplet threatening to break free of his jawline at any moment. Hux watched it, mesmerized, as if he only now realised that his attacker was human and bled just like anyone else. 

“You’re pathetic,” Hux sneered, some of his courage coming back, “you keep talking and look, I drew first blood.”

The Corporal slapped him. Hux’s eyes widened with shock, his cheek stinging two heartbeats later. The Corporal grabbed his hips and flipped him onto his stomach. He lay on top of Hux, catching the tip of Hux’s ear between his teeth. Hux winced in pain, his breathing fast and shallow as the Corporal sucked at his ear for a long time. Hux could feel the outline of the Corporal’s cock against his ass and he swallowed, as if he only just now understood the situation. This  _ nobody  _ was going to have his way with Hux and then leave him on the floor, used and hurting. The idea was intolerable and yet Hux could feel the all too familiar warmth of arousal awaken to life. 

“Stop it, you brute,” Hux muttered against the table. The Corporal actually let go of Hux’s ear, only to grab a fistful of Hux’s hair and pull his head back. Tears sprang into Hux’s eyes.

“You have a death wish, General?” the Corporal whispered, “‘cause you’re really testing my patience.”

Hux wanted to say something, to act defiant and fearless, but he couldn’t find his voice. The Corporal scoffed and pressed Hux’s face to the table, his right cheekbone hurting from the pressure. His heart was racing, very loud in his other ear, and he trembled as the Corporal stood up again, holding his head down with his left hand. 

“Let’s look at that pretty ass of yours,” he cooed, slipping a hand under Hux’s jacket to find the hem of his pants. He tried to pull it off but it resisted, held too firmly in place with a belt. It didn’t deter the Corporal – he tugged at Hux’s undershirt and freed it from his pants, then slipped a gloved hand underneath it, tracing Hux’s spine with his hand. The leather of his glove wasn’t cold but Hux shivered anyway, the sensation growing stronger as the Corporal’s hand slipped down onto his side and then slithered underneath, touching his stomach. 

Hux closed his eyes, biting his lip to keep himself from moaning as the Corporal found his nipple and played with it. It was all terribly embarrassing, the shame of the situation worse than the pain or the fear, and it didn’t matter how much Hux tried to stop it because there was no denying his arousal now. 

“You have such nice little tits, General. I bet your nipples are hard all the time, standing at attention, hmm,” the Corporal said, “I wish you hadn’t been so aggressive earlier, I bet you love having your nipples sucked and bitten. I’d take such good care of them, you know? I’d suck at them so hard I’d make milk come out of you, would you like that? I bet you would, you degenerate slut.”

Hux whined, moving his hips just a little against the table, his cock growing harder in his pants. He wasn’t going to give his assailant the satisfaction of a spoken response, even when his body betrayed him, so he kept silent, because the alternative was to beg for exactly that – to have his tits fucked beyond recognition. 

“Ah, ah, ah, ah, what are you doing?” the Corporal stopped moving his hand, “Are you trying to have fun without me? That’s a low blow, even for you. I keep trying to be nice to you and this is how you repay me?”

He found the buckle of Hux’s belt and undid it, surprisingly fast given that he was still wearing a glove. He slipped his hand down Hux’s pants, squeezing his cock through his underwear. Hux cried out, the simple touch yielding too many sensations at the same time – pain, pleasure and a mix of both of them at once. 

“You dirty whore, look at you, all excited just from me touching your tits, like a kriffing virgin,” the Corporal spat, as if he was disgusted with Hux. Hux certainly was disgusted with himself, but there was little he could do with that enormous hand still around his cock. He felt very hot in the face and his right nipple hurt while the left protested about being neglected. The Corporal fondled and squeezed Hux’s cock for a few excruciating, delicious seconds before he withdrew his hand and finally pulled Hux’s pants down, pulling his underwear along, exposing Hux’s ass. 

“It really is a nice ass,” the Corporal assessed, “a little pale though.”

He slapped Hux’s ass a few times, drawing a muffled yelp out of Hux with each hit. He moved his other hand from Hux’s head to between his shoulder blades, still holding him down but allowing him more maneuvering space. Hux turned his head with a sigh of relief and his neck protested. 

“Spread your legs,” the Corporal ordered. Hux didn’t obey. He may have been aroused but he wasn’t going to make the situation any easier for his assailant. 

“I said spread your legs, you stupid cunt,” the Corporal shouted and slapped Hux’s ass again. Hux’s pulse shot through the roof at the raised tone and he obeyed this time. 

“Was it really necessary? You know I’ll get what I want, so why are you making it so difficult?” the Corporal asked, rubbing soothing circles onto Hux’s ass, as if he was genuinely sorry to have hit Hux. 

“You let thousands of men fuck you, so why do you resist me? Does it even matter? You’re damaged goods after all, always have been,” the Corporal went on, slipping his hand between Hux’s thighs, cupping his balls one by one before moving onto Hux’s cock. He stroked it with care, almost lovingly, spreading pre-come over the head. He pulled away abruptly. 

“Look at you, leaking like an excited schoolboy,” he said, “good for you though. It’ll ease my way in.” 

For a while, the Corporal was seemingly preoccupied with other things. There was still pressure between Hux’s shoulder blades holding him down, but it was lighter now, as if the Corporal’s attention was on something else. Hux’s pulse quickened and he tried to stand up, pushing against it to slip away. He didn’t get far though – the Corporal grabbed a fistful of his hair again and pulled him close.

“Not yet, you ungrateful slut. Don’t think you’ll get off and leave me with nothing,” the Corporal growled. He laid his other hand on Hux’s ass again but it was cold and slimy this time, with what Hux didn’t dare guess.

“Easy now,” the Corporal said, almost softly, and pushed one finger inside Hux. Hux’s thoughts halted and he whimpered, his fingers curling in search of something to hold onto. The Corporal took his time pushing his finger as deep into Hux as it would go, curling it and probing, as if he was searching for something. Hux choked on his exhale when he found it, his back arching to make it stay. 

“Look at you,” the Corporal whispered, his finger moving lazily but with determination, “so desperate for a fuck. You’d let anyone have you, wouldn’t you? Anything, as long as it could hit just the right spot.”

Hux was breathing hard, his lips parted and eyes closed. His ears were ringing and the words came to him as if from a distance, or like he were underwater, but they stung either way – they stung because they were true, and because they were his deepest, darkest shame. His legs began to tremble as he neared completion.

“I’d say that’s enough solo fun for you,” the Corporal muttered, pressed Hux’s face against the table again and withdrew his finger . Hux heard the unmistakable sound of someone stroking their cock and a few moments later, without any warning, the Corporal positioned the head of his cock to Hux’s hole and pushed in. Hux cried out, the burning sensation of being stretched too wide too fast almost unbearable. For a moment, he forgot all about his shame and of his pleasure, consumed by the pain, engulfed in it like in a tsunami. 

“Is that too much?” the Corporal asked, but his voice was different. The mist on Hux’s mind dispersed a little, and he placed the voice to a different life.

“No,” he muttered, “I’ll say if it is.”

Someone took his cock and stroked it, and Hux wasn’t sure who but it didn’t matter. The pain didn’t go away but pleasure pierced through it like a blaster shot and Hux bit his lip to keep himself from coming – he may have gotten aroused by someone taking him against his will but he wouldn’t grant him the satisfaction of seeing Hux completely untethered. He focused on his breathing – in, out, in, out – and he barely noticed the moment when the Corporal started moving in him, slowly, almost carefully. 

“Is that all you can do?” Hux asked without thinking, “That’s a rather impressive cock you have there, can you use it too?”

“Am I too gentle for you?” the Corporal asked, picking up his pace. He kept jerking Hux off with his hand, but in a different rhythm. It was excruciating – all of Hux’s nerves were on edge, his muscles spasming in disarray, but it wasn’t  _ enough.  _   
“Gentle? I’m falling asleep,” Hux replied. 

“I’ll wake you up,” the Corporal promised. He didn’t speed up but it seemed like he buried himself deeper into Hux with each thrust, like he hit more nerve-endings with each stroke of his hand. Hux’s entire body was on fire, all of his muscles tense or exhausted. He was too exhausted to fight off his orgasm any longer, and he gave in, crying out despite himself. It was a good thing that he was lying on the table because his entire body turned to jelly, as if all his strength dissolved with his release. For a few seconds, he couldn’t feel anything, the reality around him a faint white noise. 

He blinked a few times, slowly settling back into his skin. The Corporal was still fucking him, as if oblivious. Hux’s nerves protested against it, crying out in exhaustion. Hux had never experienced anything quite like it, such a strong sensation completely escaping description. Pain was definitely at the forefront of it, making Hux’s eyes water, but underneath it, hidden but powerful, the promise of blinding pleasure. He didn’t have the energy to do anything, to as much as think, so he lay still, giving himself completely over to the mercy of the Corporal. It would be over soon, anyway, and then he’ll go back to his work, like he always did. 

“Where’s your spark now, General?” the Corporal asked, “Don’t tell me you can take this little.”

“I’m waiting for you brute to finish up this lousy job you’re doing,” Hux mumbled. 

“Lousy?!” the Corporal exclaimed, obviously offended. “Are you telling me you’ve had a better cock up that ass of yours?”

Now this was a tricky question, and Hux had to focus on his response for a while. The Corporal grabbed his hips and used Hux’s own body as well as his own thrusts, making them meet halfway. 

“It’s a won–ah!–wonderful cock,” Hux stuttered, “but your technique is mediocre, at best.”

“I’ve had enough of your talking,” the Corporal said and pulled out. He grabbed Hux by the collar of his uniform and pulled him up into a standing position. “Let’s make that pretty mouth of yours useful. On your knees.”

He turned Hux around and made some space between himself and the table, barely enough for Hux. Then he released his grip. For a moment, Hux was free. A single thought of attempting escape crossed his mind but it was quickly snuffed out. He was shaking all over and the Corporal was strong and much bigger than him. Hux used to be quite good at self-defense but he’d been neglecting training, thinking himself safe in his rank. He’d lost his reflexes and his mind was a mushy sludge of fucked-out nonsense. 

“On your knees, General!” the Corporal shouted and slapped Hux. Hux fell down onto his knees, too fast in an attempt to escape further abuse. 

“Hands on your knees, like a good boy,” the Corporal ordered. Hux obeyed, the chain between his handcuffs clinking softly. He had never felt more naked than now, with his cock exposed and covered in smears of his own come. He had never been one for being shy about his body, there was simply no time for such sentiments at the Academy, but in this moment, he understood it perfectly.

“Now open that dirty mouth of yours and lets see what you can do with my dick, hm?” the Corporal said. He held his cock in one leather-clad hand, and Hux had to shudder at the mistreatment of the uniform. 

“Don’t make me wait, you fucking rat,” the Corporal hissed and slapped Hux again. Tears sprang into his eyes and he obeyed. The Corporal pushed his cock in Hux’s mouth without any warning, nearly the entire way in, and Hux gagged, not expecting it. He shuddered, his stomach convulsing, but the Corporal just laughed and grabbed a fistful of Hux’s hair.

“Is that enough for you, boy?” he asked and started moving his hips, fucking Hux’s throat. Hux dug his fingernails into his thighs to settle his stomach. He knew from experience that deep-throating was overrated, something that guys bragged about being able to do – or having someone do it for them – but not the most effective way to get someone off, which meant he might be forced to hold his mouth open for the Corporal’s pleasure for a long time. 

“You look really pretty like this, you know that? I bet a lot of people told you, or at least I hope so, because it’s true. You were born to do this, you know, your throat is so nice and warm for me. You chose a wrong profession, you could have been a very rich prostitute, living comfortably and admired, but instead you live off flavourless rations, sleep on a bumpy bunk bed and serve as a sex toy for your subordinates, for free.

“I’d say I’m not the only one, am I? Look at you, getting hard again already. You can’t help it, you’re a whore and you get off on people using you. You’re pathetic. You only made General because you warmed the bed of all the officers who would have you. And a lot of them wanted you, hmm? You’re skinny and soft, you never grew proper muscles, but that’s what we like about you. You’re a special treat.”

Hux wished there was a way for him not to hear the Corporal babble on and on because it hit too close to home, but with his hands bound he couldn’t cover his ears. 

“So special. I’m going to come in your mouth, you like that?” the Corporal asked and he pulled out a little, his pace getting more frantic. Hux licked the head of his cock, sucked slightly on it with his lips. 

“You do, you degenerate slut, it’s your favourite meal. Lucky day for you.”

The Corporal came into Hux’s mouth, spilling and spilling. He held Hux’s head in place for as long as he was riding the high and then finally let go. Hux wanted to spit out but the Corporal held his mouth closed, fingers digging into the underside of his chin.

“Swallow your proteins, General, it’s good for you.”

He let go of Hux then and tucked his cock into his underwear and adjusted his uniform. Hux looked down onto his knees, hoping that this was it, that he gave the Corporal what he came for and would be left alone to die. 

“Oh look at your pitiful little dick, it’s excited again,” the Corporal said and poked Hux’s cock with one of his shiny boots, “you should do something about it. It’s not healthy to deny yourself, you know?”

He grabbed a chair and pulled it away from the table. He sat down on it, leaned back and spread his legs.

“Give me a good show, General. Show me how you play with yourself when you’re all alone and desperate,” the Corporal said. He rummaged through his pockets and found a cigarette. He lit it and took a long drag of it. “Come on, I don’t have the whole day for you.”

Hux’s hand was shaking when he wrapped it around his cock. He was oversensitive, hurting all over, and he was quite certain this would be one of those painful orgasms that left him asking if it was even worth the effort. The Corporal was watching him, flicking the ash from his cigarette onto the ground, his eyelids drooped. Hux wanted to close his eyes and jerk off to some scenario his mind would come up with but found he couldn’t. He moved his hand mechanically but it wasn’t working. If anything, his arousal seemed to go away as the full reality of his situation hit him.

“Do you need help?” the Corporal asked after a look time. He had smoked the entire cigarette and was holding the butt between two fingers as if wondering where to put it.

“Yes,” Hux mumbled, ashamed.

“You’re a really lost case, General,” the Corporal said and flicked the cigarette butt onto the ground, smothering it with his heel. “Do you think I’ll help you for free?”

“No,” Hux shook his head.

“No,  _ sir. _ ”

“No, sir,” Hux repeated. 

“Good. Tell me how much you want this, General. Tell me how much you need me to help you jerk that pathetic cock,” the Corporal ordered. Hux took a deep breath – was he really going to beg? He wasn’t used to begging, and he didn’t really want the Corporal to help him wank. But at the same time, he needed it – tension had built up in his body, dirty, shameful tension of unwanted arousal, and he had to let it out.

“I need your help, sir, please,” he whimpered, adding a bit of drama into his voice, “I’m an insatiable whore who needs your guidance. I’m too dumb to do this well, but I need it. It hurts, sir, please.”

“Why should I help you? You said it yourself, you’re a dirty whore not worth my time and attention,” the Corporal countered. He wasn’t even looking at Hux.

“Because you’re such a magnanimous man,” Hux said, watching his tormentor’s gorgeous profile, “and you know that I need you. You didn’t fuck me to completion, which was the right decision because I had been bad, but please help me now, I need you.”

“Do you think you deserve my help, slut?” the Corporal looked at him, his gaze intense. Hux whimpered and sped up the movements of his hand. 

“No, sir,” he replied, truthfully. His legs hurt from the awkward position but he didn’t dare change it. For a while, the only sounds in the room were his breathing mixed with the soft clinking of his handcuffs.

“That must be an uncomfortable position, General. Lie down on your back, show me that pretty hole of yours. Let’s give it some love too, hmm? It must be feeling lonely without my cock in it.”

For a second, Hux was afraid that the Corporal would want to fuck him again. He didn’t want that. He needed his relief now but the idea of being touched again made his skin crawl. Still, he obeyed, his ankles thanking him. He lay onto his back, bent his knees and spread his legs, waiting for more orders.

“Come on, put your fingers in. Show me how you fuck yourself when there’s no one to take pity on you and do it for you,” the Corporal said. Hux brought his legs closer to his chest to get better access but even then it was awkward with his hands bound together. He did his best though, curling his finger and searching for his prostate. His cock was hard now, heavy and hot on top of his belly. It would only take a few strokes of it for him to come, he was sure, but he couldn’t take it in his other hand. He whimpered.

“Need a hand?” the Corporal asked with a chuckle. He stood up and walked over to Hux. He watched him from above, a smirk on his face. 

“You’re so pretty like this, General. Everyone should see you like this, needy and desperate and shameless. Maybe I should make a small holovid of you, what do you think? Let the whole galaxy see what a slut you are,” he said. Hux’s eyes widened, panic seizing him. That would be the end of him, it would ruin everything he’d worked so hard to achieve.

“No, please, sir, I am very shy,” he blurted out the first thing that came onto his tongue. 

“Shy? You?” the Corporal laughed, “Oh no, you’re everything but shy.”

He put his foot on Hux’s cock again and squeezed. It wasn’t the right pressure and lacked finesse but it was enough. Hux’s wrist cramped up but he kept going until his entire body exploded with sensation, hot and painful and exhausted. 

He pulled his hand out, slowly, and lowered his legs back onto the floor, his eyes falling shut with exhaustion. 

“You’re a mess, General,” the Corporal said and spat on him, “but it was a real pleasure talking to you. I’m sure we can arrange to do this again.” 

Hux heard footsteps and the sound of a door opening, but it wasn’t followed by the sound of closing. He gathered all his remaining energy and turned his head towards the door and indeed, the Corporal had left the door open. Anyone could walk in and find Hux like this, half naked, filthy, disgraced – not only could, but would, because doors weren’t meant to be open unless there was a reason so it was quite likely that someone would come in to investigate. Hux knew he should do something – put his clothes on, get up, close the door – but the mere idea of moving filled him with dread. 

He closed his eyes, for a moment losing himself. Time passed but he couldn’t be sure how much of it exactly, or where, and he was slowly coming down from the high of the fantasy, settling back into reality and not liking it one bit. Grim thoughts gathered in his mind, dense just enough to overcast it, and then he heard footsteps.

Hux gathered enough energy to pull his pants up to cover himself. It wouldn’t do much for his dignity, not with how sticky he was, not with the mess around him, but he tried nonetheless. Someone stepped inside the room and closed the door. Hux held his breath – maybe they wouldn’t notice him, maybe they wouldn’t come into the room to investigate–

“Hux?” someone called. No, not someone. Ren. Hux wanted to call out for him,  _ yes, I am here, please come save me.  _ But that would be pathetic. Ren couldn’t see him like this, their relationship wasn’t the ‘I take care of you after you were raped’ kind, more like the ‘you’re frustrating and extremely attractive, let’s have sex and pretend we don’t know each other’ kind. Hux wasn’t happy about it but it was what worked for them, and he was determined not to lose the minimal chance at affection it provided him.

“Stars, Hux, what happened to you?” Ren rounded the table and rushed to Hux’s side. He knelt down on the floor and Hux turned his head to him, his voice stuck in his throat. He wanted to tell Ren but he couldn’t, his eyes filling with tears.

“Shh, shh, it’s okay, I’ve got you,” Ren whispered and helped Hux sit up, holding him close. “I’ve got you, it’s okay, I’m here. You’re safe.”

Hux wrapped his arms around Ren’s neck and nuzzled it, the knot of anxiety in his chest slowly untangling. They sat like this, Ren whispering nonsense into Hux’s hair, caressing his back while Hux tried not to cry and failed. 

“Let’s wash you up, hmm? You need to rest,” Ren said at last when Hux stopped shaking. Hux nodded, still not quite ready to talk, and Ren stood up, Hux clinging to him for dear life. 

“Nobody will see us, don’t worry,” Ren said when Hux hesitated in the door, “I sent everyone away. It’s just the two of us.”

“Thank you,” Hux whispered. His voice was weak and he wasn’t even sure if Ren could hear it but he needed to say it or else he’d explode.

“You’re welcome,” Ren said. Hux’s quarters were nearby so the walk of shame wasn’t that long and with each stride, Hux felt more energy return into his body as his mind recuperated. He was sore all over and in need of a warm shower and something to eat but he was slowly coming back to his senses. Ren kept talking, the sound of his voice more soothing than his words, and he didn’t stop even when they locked the door behind themselves. 

“Do you want to undress yourself or can I do it?” Ren asked then. 

“I want you here,” Hux replied, “don’t leave me.”

“Alright,” Ren nodded, “let’s get you a glass of water first, okay?” 

Hux nodded and waited for Ren to get it for him. He was shivering slightly, covered in cool sweat and exhausted, and he realised only now how parched his throat was. He downed the big glass Ren handed him in one go, surprised by himself – that much usually lasted him for at least two hours. 

“Now let’s wash the bad things away, hmm?” Ren murmured. Hux nodded in affirmative. 

Ren took Hux’s clothes off, piece by piece, until Hux stood in front of him completely naked, arms crossed on his chest to warm himself up. Ren took off his own clothes in a haste, throwing them onto one haphazard pile on the floor. They made their way into the shower cubicle which was just a tad too small for both of them, and Ren let the water run, holding the shower head away from Hux until it was warm.

They used up way too much water – Hux could hear the click as the backup cistern kicked in, the luxury that came with his rank. He had used it only a few times before, on really bad days when staying longer in the shower meant he could spend a few more minutes away from his grim thoughts, and he had always felt bad for it after; if there was one thing he couldn’t stand, it was superiors abusing their powers to waste resources the entire Order worked so hard to preserve. This time though, he didn’t protest. Ren washed his entire body, big hands rubbing soothing circles into Hux’s skin and Hux had never felt this loved. 

When they finally stumbled out of the shower, Hux in his warm fluffy bathrobe, Ren with just a towel around his hips, they made their way into the bedroom. Hux climbed into the bed and expected Ren to do the same.

“Hold on, I’ll get us something to eat,” Ren said and Hux wanted to protest but could he really, if Ren were taking care of him? This was already much more than Hux expected to get when Ren came up with the crazy idea of such a bizarre roleplay, and he didn’t want to appear too clingy and demanding, afraid of driving Ren away, so he just nodded even though his entire body screamed  _ stay!  _   
Ren wasn’t away for long and he came back still in just a towel, so he must have had the food ordered into Hux’s quarters beforehand. Hux’s heart fluttered; he had never expected anyone to care enough about him to put so much thought into the time they spent together. Ren was holding a tray laden with enough food to last them a week.

“Are we throwing a party for the entire Order?” Hux asked with a smile. 

“I didn’t know what you’d like so I ordered a little from everything I know you can eat,” Ren replied, “there isn’t that much, you poor thing.”

“I’ve made my peace with living off rations,” Hux shrugged, touched by Ren’s concern. He didn’t even remember discussing his dietary restrictions with Ren. 

“Well you’re eating real food today,” Ren announced, “what would you like?”

“Soup,” Hux replied immediately, without thinking. 

Ren laid the tray on the floor since it was too big to fit on the nightstand and got a bowl and a spoon. Hux accepted the bowl, holding it with one hand between his chest and his bent knees.

“I don’t think I’ve ever eaten anything in bed,” Hux said, “much less soup.”

“That’s so sad,” Ren replied. He got a plate with something that looked like a breakfast for three people and laid it happily on his lap.   
“I suppose it is,” Hux nodded, even though he’d never considered it sad before. They ate in silence, both too famished to talk. With his head clearer now, Hux tried to sort through the whirlwind of his emotions. He stole a few glances at Ren, wondering where their relationship was to go now. 

“Do you want something else?” Ren asked when he noticed Hux’s bowl was empty. Hux leaned across Ren’s legs to look down at the tray and finally he chose something that looked entirely too colourful to be edible but he was feeling experimental. He was still eating when Ren finished his impossible meal and set the plate down. 

“How do you like it?” Ren asked, pointing to his meal when Hux raised a quizzical eyebrow at him. 

“It’s delicious,” Hux replied, “I have no idea what’s in it, and I don’t think I want to know, but it’s so good.”

“I’m glad,” Ren said with a smile, “I was hoping you’d like it, it was one of my favourite meals growing up.”

“Oh,” Hux wasn’t entirely certain what to do with that information. It was too personal, too much something that one told their lover, and he wasn’t sure how to respond. Should he tell Ren what meal he liked as a child? He couldn’t – he hadn’t had the luxury of choosing what he would eat. Should he ask why it used to be Ren’s favourite? That might bring back bad memories and Hux didn’t think he had the energy to deal with childhood trauma. 

“What’s wrong?” Ren asked. 

“I don’t know what to say to that,” Hux replied honestly.

“You don’t have to say anything. You don’t have to have an answer to everything, you know,” Ren said. Hux didn’t consider that before.

“You’re spoiling me,” he said instead.

“Well I have to, after what just happened,” Ren replied. Hux had hoped it wouldn’t come to this conversation but he supposed there was no way out now. He scraped the remaining food out of the plate and ate it, chewing slowly. Ren took the plate out of his hands.

“We have to talk about it,” he announced, and it wasn’t that Hux disagreed, but he still didn’t know how to.

“Okay,” he nodded but didn’t meet Hux’s eyes. 

“Did you enjoy it?” Ren asked. Hux felt colour rise into his cheeks and he stared at the belt of his robe, playing with it as he contemplated his answer.

“It was… intense,” he said at last, “I got really immersed in it, I forgot it was you for a while.”

“Is that a good thing?” 

“Yes,” Hux nodded, “that came out wrong, but I mean it in a good way. My mind hasn’t been this clear for ages.”

“Was there something you didn’t like? Or something that you liked in particular?” Ren asked again. Hux recalled all the insults that made his head spin, but how exactly should he tell someone that he gets turned on by someone calling him a whore?

“I’ll start, okay?” Ren said and Hux was really glad for the help. He raised his head, made himself look at Ren and nodded.

“I liked that you fought back,” Ren said and touched his cheek. Hux could see the tear his fist left there earlier. “Though it was difficult to navigate how far I could go. If we’re going to do this again, we have to figure out a better way to communicate.”

“I told you you don’t have to worry about me,” Hux muttered.

“Don’t play tough with me, Hux. When I saw you lying on the floor, I was really afraid that I went too far,” Ren said with a frown. Hux realised that Ren was serious, which astonished him.

“Nobody cares if I can take something,” he said, more to himself.

“I want you to enjoy sex,” Ren said, passion heavy in his voice, like it was the most important thing in the world that Hux understood. “I know you’re not looking for a relationship and I respect that, but I don’t want you to feel you have to do something just because of me. Force knows that we’ve had our fights but that doesn’t belong in the bedroom.”

“When was the last time we had sex in the bedroom?” Hux said before he could stop himself. Ren gave him an exasperated look. 

“Or in the conference room, on your desk, in the officers’ gym and all the other places where we had sex if we have sex there,” he said and rolled his eyes.

“I had a great time,” Hux said, suddenly inspired. He turned around and took Ren’s hands into his own. It looked funny with the size of their hands but it was important for him to do this.

“I was a little afraid of what might happen to me when you left, I didn’t know you’d come back,” he added. 

“You thought I’d leave you lying there, after such an intense scene?” Ren asked.

“Yeah. We didn’t say anything about it and I assumed you already got what you came for.”

“I would never just leave you there, you idiot,” Ren sighed and kissed Hux. Hux was a little taken aback but kissed back with enthusiasm. He scooted closer to Ren and wrapped his arms around his neck; he needed to be closer to Ren, to feel his warmth, to believe that this was real. Ren embraced him with the same urgency, but there was nothing sexual about it – as if Ren needed them to be as close as possible too.

“The scene was for you,” Ren murmured when they pulled away to breathe, “I thought you’d enjoy it.”

“Really?”

“Yes. I don’t particularly enjoy pretending to hate you,” Ren said, as if it was the most logical thing in the galaxy, “though I’d lie if I said I didn’t find it hot. Especially the part where I made you show off for me.”

“Why would you do it then? If you didn’t like it,” Hux asked, feeling bad about himself. 

“I didn’t dislike it,” Ren assured him, “I did it for you. I hoped it would make you happy.”   
“That sounds an awful lot like you fancy me,” Hux teased. His heart raced in his chest – although he made it look like he was indifferent, he realised only now just how much he cared what Ren’s opinion of him was. 

“I like you, Hux,” Ren said with a serious expression, “and I can’t even explain how much it means to me that you trusted me in this scene. After everything.”

“How embarrassing for you,” Hux blurted out. Ren’s eyes widened and Hux realised he made a mistake. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t know how to deal with my own emotions,” he said, hoping Ren wouldn’t murder him.

“You’re the worst,” Ren informed him.

“Yeah, I know,” Hux shrugged, “but to be serious – I think I wanted to trust you. I didn’t know what to expect, and to be honest I thought it couldn’t turn out to be so bad. But it was surprisingly enjoyable. I mean I felt terribly ashamed the whole time, but that was part of what made it so good. There, I said, I’m a weirdo.”

“You’re really not that special just because you’re turned on by your shame,” Ren told him, “you must know that rape fantasies are quite common.”

“I didn’t,” Hux said, “I seriously thought I was sick and you were making fun of me.”

“Oh my,” Ren said and bowed his head. “You really should use different sites on the holonet.”

“So you don’t think I’m weird?” Hux asked.

“You are weird, but not because of your fantasies. There’s nothing wrong about having them and exploring them if you don’t hurt someone – including yourself. Lots of people have fantasies much weirder than this.”

“What’s your fantasy?” 

Hux watched Ren intently, wondering if he overstepped his boundaries, or if he were ready for Ren’s answer. Ren seemed to consider that as well, but then apparently decided that Hux was an adult who could make his own decisions because he replied.

“Immobilization,” he said, “being tied up, handcuffed. Maybe blindfolds too.”

“Hmm,” Hux considered it, “I think I might like to see you tied up and at my mercy.”

Ren beamed at that. Hux had a very intense feeling that their relationship was shifting into something different, something he had not anticipated, but it excited him more than it alarmed him. He snuggled closer to Ren who embraced him, kissing the crown of his head. 

“You really didn’t have to destroy my datapad, you know,” Hux pointed out.

“I did?”

“Yes. You threw it on floor!” 

“You can put it on my bill,” Ren said cheerfully. 

“As if you’re ever actually going to pay it,” Hux sighed and closed his eyes, enjoying the warmth of Ren’s embrace.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, come talk to me on [Twitter!](https://twitter.com/EllstraH)


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